Juicy, Biggie Smalls. Gangsta

hello friends. I have had the luck of chatting via the internet with one of my best friends (so great! so smart and hilarious and cool!) meg, who is currently living in Germany. To anyone who is anti-facebook or internet communication, I have to say that I feel like at least 90% of the people I love are on the move, or will be, and I thank god for anything that allows semi-easy communication.

Moving on, it's a good morning. I woke up at 6:30 or something, not realizing that I didn't have to work, but that's being a grown up, I guess. When I was younger I bet my mom's friend that I'd still be sleeping until noon when I was thirty, but that's clearly not happening. 6:00 or 7:00 more like it, with 9:00 sleeping in, and 10:00 really late, unless there's another person to influence me. Hey-o! Ignore that last one. I am a sexless character, absent those characteristics.

Anyway, meg and I were chatting (as it is described), and I thought, I love a man who likes to see me eat. I feel like that is a sign that someone truly cares about you. I have had some a*hole boyfriends (no offense to any of you who might be nice people but were terrible as my boyfirend) and have been a jerk on countless occassions myself (romantic relationships are the weirdest kind of relationships), but anyone who encouraged me to eat/made me food/ate mexican food with me, I think, it couldn't have been all bad.

I (overshare) have a not great relationship with food. I used to, and still do in some ways, think that if I could just lose some weight, all of my "problems" would somehow magically disappear and I'd be a better person. One of the better things that happened to me was when I went to college, gained weight, frumped out, and still had friends and went on dates. I had value beyond achieving whatever idea I had that I was not measuring up to.

I still worry about getting older and becoming a sexless (earmuffs, apologies) creature, wearing mom jeans and getting jowly, but what are you gonna do? And I have a twin sister (not identical) who is in excellent shape who I can see as an example of our genes treated right. whatever. she's a mutant. a perfect mutant, who is my best friend, but where did she come from? She's unlike the rest of our family.

Anyway, as a person who, in effort not to be unhealthy about things (I wish I weren't this way, but that's okay) refuses to eat: bread, sweets, dairy most of the time, and sometimes grains and floury deals(which sound unhealthy, but if you saw me eating a burrito or naked, you'd know I'm okay). I love a man who likes to see me eat taco bell, but doesn't make me feel like a freak for the agreement I've come to with food. That is all.Now everyone, go and listen to randy travis "They say time takes it's toll on the body, makes a young girls brown hair turn grey, but honey I don't care, I aint in love with your hair, and if it all fell out, I'd love you anyway." I's a sap.