My gold tooth!

Today was soooooo good. I went to the dentist and it was awesome.
I had cavities. Let us be open and honest to begin with. I have been avoiding going to the dentist for some time now. Although I have consistently had health insurance for most of my twenties (I know, I'm super lucky) I put it off because I was so afraid that even with health insurance I wouldn't be able to afford to fix my broken, disgusting mouth (who wants a kiss?). So, jerk that I am, I had not been to the dentist for awhile.
Luckily, I am surrounded by wonderful people who think that I am neurotic and encouraged me to take my head out of the sand and see what's really going on (really they are wonderful people if they know that I'm paralyzed by the thought of going to the dentist and they still love me and don't just grab me and shake me and say, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? ACT LIKE AN ADULT").
I made an appointment and literally until the dentist did not tell me, "we will have to perform procedures that cost thousands of dollars that you cannot afford, or maybe you should just get dentures, which are still expensive, but problem solved. Viola!" I was sure that this was a possible outcome. I was scared. But, I am facing my fears lately and went made that appointment anyway. And now a huge weight has been lifted.
Oh my, thank goodness I have health insurance. More than once this year it has saved me from financial ruin. I was talking to my housemate Hannah (pronounced Hawn-uh, not Hann-ah. Do not forget this. She acts like it's cool if you do, but it's not!) I was talking to Hannah and we agreed that when we and our friends are really excited about the opportunity to see a doctor something is clearly wrong with the system-- not a secret.
I love visiting the dentist. My previous dentist was a kindly old man who had been my dentist since I was in elementary school. By the way, I know this is not how a person is supposed to write. If this were a paper I wouldn't be so lax. But it's just us gabbin', right? Right! Anywho, my old dentist was awesome, but I don't have a car and his office is located out of town. He was a nice man, but I was so worried that he would think that I was incredibly irresponsible in caring for my teeth. And how did I thank him? He lost a customer :(
My new dentist is very nice. He is in the same building, I realized, as my very charming optometrist. His hygienist initially made me very uncomfortable because she kept praising me and telling me to, "close your beautiful eyes again" while she was doing the x-rays. But, she did make me feel like I aced my dental exam, all because I didn't complain or squirm. And she didn't scold me when I admitted to not flossing. Unafraid of my new dentist's judgment I told him my concerns (not about the dentures) outright and asked immediately about billing.
So, my teeth were kinda janky. That I was rightfully concern about. However, it was not nearly as bad as I had imagined. And while what I had to pay is more than I want to afford, I can afford it and it is worth it. Done.
I did feel a little like I was playing a game at being as polite as I possibly could be. Do you ever do that? Just get joy about using your good manners. Sometimes I feel like because I'm tired or hungry or disappointed with life my manners aren't wonderful. And I feel like a jerk, because I'm acting like one But I do sometimes get a kick out of feeling like I'm acting in exactly the right way, in treating people who are doing their job with courtesy and respect. Then I feel disingenuous, like I'm just being nice because I want people to think I'm nice... and that was my trip to the dentist. Thanks!