Never buy retail wholesale. Jib jab, scalliwag.

A wise person would tell you that no matter how good a deal something is, you shouldn't buy it if you cannot afford to spend the money. Today was a day of frugality that would make Mr. Scrooge himself blush! Or some other famous cheapskake; I shorted the circuit for our internet connection downstairs and in the time that I ate my dinner and my housemate set us up with another connection I have somewhat lost my gusto for writing this. But I was so excited-- deals, get 'em while they're hot! So I'm going to try to continue.That and even though it's not yet 9 pm I want to go to sleep, but I have to wait for my clothes to dry in our somewhat busted dryer.
The first steal of the day was an unexpected one. I was baking cookies and I cracked open an egg, and lo and behold, there were two yolks for the price of one! "It's a twin, like me!" I proclaimed, before I realized that the yolk is actually the food and not the chicken-- so, really I should have thought, "This unborn chicken loved to eat, just like me!"
I love going to the grocery store for many reasons. It's a type of shopping that doesn't depress me or fill me with the rabid need to consume. I think I'm doing just fine, I have all I need, and all of a sudden I wander upon some leggings at Target and I start thinking about how the Man is always keeping me down, and when will I ever have money? and why, oh why do we live in a society where our economic structure is one of feeding parasites, bleeding our Mother dry... *ahem*
But everyone's gotta eat, right? And there's nothing like buying greens and beans to make me feel like I'm doing something good for myself, aaaaaaalright. I love co-ops, although now I'm torn about membership, but blah blah blah, that's another story for, never because it's super boring and you don't want to hear it anyway. So.
I just got a phone call. It might be time for me to go. It's disrupting my flow. I don't think I'm done.
I come from an established line of thrifty ladies. My mama and my nana before her have long emphasized the merits of  good deal. My (twin) sister (like the egg!) has always understood value of a dollar. Not I. I would spend my allowance straight away on Quints (dolls), or other toys that I could nurture, my stand-in for real friends, which I had very few actual of until college. Those were boon years for me. What was I talking about, deals? Oh god, I really have lost all interest in this topic. So, anywho, I went to a conventional grocery store (Safeway) which is not my favorite place. I do appreciate their playing of Christmas music. This is only because I love Christmas music and rarely listen to the radio, not because I'm one of those freaks who think there is some corporate conspiracy to make everyone forget about the miracle birth of the baby Jesus (and assume that belief is something that should be casually foisted upon everyone, everywhere. Just sayin).
So, I was shopping at Safeway and I bought some mousse that I don't think has butane in it, but really that's anyone's guess. Scary. I only went to Safeway because I wanted generic cough medicine. I'm a wimp. I take the hard stuff. I wish I were more natural. I try. If I ever give birth I might take the drugs. Who knows?
I got a toothbrush, on sale (really? $3 for a toothbrush? That's highway robbery!), I bought some $4 wine on sale for $2. Guess how delicious that was? I'll give you a hint: Charles Shaw would have wept.
When I got home my housemates had taken a trip to Costco and came in just after me. Oh, weren't they delighted with the cheese, and the... the beer. That's what I remember them talking about. And someone mentioned that there was whiskey at Costco and I thought, "why didn't I go to Costco?"
Why not? Because I was being a humble cookie troll, delivering cookies that I baked this afternoon for someone I love. And that is the end of my stream of consciousness. Thank you for reading, if you kept reading once it became clear that I had very little to actually say about white hot deals. xoxoxo