mama and carl

Growing up I had cable. and braces.and went to Disneyland-- more than once. Yet somehow I am under the impression that I was deprived in my childhood. I know that it is absurd. I never went hungry. There was never a space left bare under the Christmas tree. I at one time had forty barbie dolls, before I decided that sixth graders are too old for those friends and regretfully retired the camp to the garage. My allowance was a pittance, but as I am aware, under a certain age I was not required rent, nor heat, nor charge for sustenance. I have come to the conclusion that my parents wanted to give the world to me, and when this was of course impossible, my head confused all of the details and the intent, only to be sorted out when I ask nothing of them but love.