I have a cold. This is not at all surprising to me, although I was trying to wish it away and kill it with spicy food (sometimes effective methods) yesterday; the mere four hours of sleep I got last night certainly did not help.
Since my last post, I was rehired at the grocery store that I worked at before the job that I will be losing (sooner rather than later now, though they still haven't given us a date). I've been going to both most days, working 5 am to 5 pm, leaving home by 4 a.m. to catch the train. While I actually prefer the early shift, I had a feeling that not having the ability to nap would catch up with me, as going to sleep before 10:00 p.m. is impossible (and before 11 is a challenge), even if I intend to be up by 3:20 at the latest. Waking up this early I set the maximum five alarms on my cell phone-- as a coworker once said, my body tricks me into getting more than I am alloted of that sweet, sweet sleep.
So here I am on a Saturday night, wearing an XXL "Stick it to the Man!" co-op shirt that I got for free from my work one of the two other times they hired me (continuous employment! gratitude!) borrowed pajama pants, and my old friend blue bathrobe, who hasn't made an appearance since last March. I am missing a potluck and music at my favorite coffee shop/food hang out place. I don't even care. I feel so tired and run down, I'm excited to maybe watch a movie (something of the sweet and sappy variety, perhaps starring Meg Ryan) and make some citrus ginger juice with my new juicer before going to sleep at a reasonable hour and waking up feeling refreshed and 100% better tomorrow morning (it's called the power of positive thinking;)
The best part of my work day today was feeling like a know-it-all when I was alone in the walk-in, putting away pallets. Yes, I enjoyed standing in a refrigerator as I was getting sick, stacking boxes that weigh 20-50 lbs on average. 1.)It makes me feel cool and macho and 2.)Even though I am a gross, disgusting, embarrassing secret slob (to borrow a phrase from Catcher in the Rye. How hip! I barely remember that book. I liked Nine Stories, but gave my copy away and never finished Franny and Zooey although of that I have two copies), even though I am a gross, disgusting, embarrassing secret slob, I do enjoy the feeling at work that everything is in its right place, and also rearranging the boxes to fit something where there was previously no space for it. Look at the apple section! What was previously a haphazard mess is now neat stacks of Spitzenbergs, Galas, Fujis, Honeycrisps, etc, etc, sorted by dated oldest received on top, partial boxes put out or on the cart.
The last time I worked at this store unloading pallets drove me crazy. Ice cold water drips from boxes down onto your hair and into your shirt, boxes are heavy and cumbersome and hard to maneuver in the little space available after the walk-in is crammed with multiple pallets and carts of product. Coworkers forget to move a poorly placed box, or just do something of questionable judgment, like sticking a heavy citrus box on top of delicate grapes. I hated setting up the olive bar as well; the smell of that much brine at 5 am made me swear I never wanted to look at anything from the olive bar again, let alone eat it.
However, months have passed and I am over it. I actually asked my coworker if he wanted me to do the olive bar this morning. Feeling competent is nice, although I'm self concious that I might not be moving fast enough.
As for my other job, I go in, shuffle papers, make copies, respond to emails, and feel not very useful to my boss. I'm just not there for enough time in the afternoons, but I can't commit any more time than I already am. Luckily, some of the people in my office have found jobs/have finally gotten interviews, so there is less of a doomsday feel around the water cooler (actually, the water cooler is in an empty cubicle that no one hangs out in, last occupied by the student intern that had the unfortunate learning experience of watching the agency implode this summer).
So, this is life right now. Work. Juicers. A slight cold. I'd better not get cold sore, or to use a less disgusting phrase, though not as accurate, sun blister (less disgusting to me. Don't even use the "h" word). Those are the worst. I already feel pretty haggard, these past two and a half weeks. I think I may have gotten less than a handful of solid nights of sleep in that time. However, as the protests around the country will tell you, I am one of the lucky ones I guess. No unemployment. I'm eligible for awesome benefits after a few months. I'm really enjoying working a physical job and working with my friends again. It's an alright place to land. I just gotta get over this dang cold!
